OWA Omega Heavyweight Championship - Bull Connors (c) vs. Jeff X
Winner: Jeff X. As much as I love my boy Bullcock and love the fact that he's the mothafuckin' OHC, I can't bet against the man who tossed Cocaine King Carlos over the top rope.
OWA World Championship - Kenny Drake (c) vs. Moongoose McQueen
Winner: Moongoose McQueen. FOR!! THE!!! BOYS!!
OWA Women's World Championship - Dulce Torres (c) vs. Diantha Moreau
Winner: Dulce Torres
No Holds Barred Match for the Position of COO of OWA - Nasir Moore vs. Scott Oasis
Winner: Scott Oasis. I swear to fucking god if you don't do Fight Club proud I'll see you back in the bloodsports cage you TRT fuck.
Hell in a Cell - Finnegan Wakefield vs. Keelan Callihan
Winner: Keelan. The lines have blurred in this match after Keelan tried to yeet himself into jesusland. No longer good boi vs bad boi. We've got the golden sticc boi of the company vs a man who's lost way too much. It just makes sense.
Tarah Nova's Retirement Match - Tarah Nova vs. Stephanie Matsuda
Winner: Can't pick between Angry Barbed wire girl and Cloudy. Sorry.
Aria Jaxon vs. Carlos Rosso
Winner: Aria Jaxon. Carlos you're my boi and we'll party after the show but #TinaStanArmyRepresent
Gareth Cason vs. Layne Kurobane
Winner: Gareth Cason. You my man and MMA themed lads have to stick together.
Ascension to the Heavens Briefcase Ladder Match - Michael Bishop vs. Havoc vs. The Derelict vs. Jacob Knight vs. Jonetta Stone vs. Azumi Goto
Winner: Anyone as long as that dickeater Mick Bishop doesn't win, what a fuckin' bozo.
(Goodluck guys).
Athena's Cup - Eris vs. Christie Sky
Winner: Christie Sky.
I believe in you god dammit.
OWA Goddesses Championship - April Song (c) vs. Alyssa Grace vs. La Llorona vs. Roni Ozborn
Winner: Jeff's right, can literally go northeastsouthorwest here. Best to all.
OWA Spartans Championship - Reginald Dampshaw III (c) vs. Arata Asakura
Winner: Arata Asakura. If he can avoid death by gigantic greek he's got this.
OWA Television Championship - Harman Ardelean (c) vs. Jesus Christ
Winner: The Vatican Church.
OWA World Tag Team Championships - The Nice Guys [Nobi & Teddy Mac] (c) vs. The Void [Nyx & Selene] vs. Devon Slayton & Udy vs. GriME [Tyler Bridges & TJ Burns]
Winner: The Nice Guys.
OWA Openweight Championship - Kevin Maverick (c) vs. Baba Yaga
Winner: Kevin Maverick. You better beat that catfucker I swear to fuck.
"I Simp" Match - Starkman vs. Nathan Fiora
Winner: COVID - 19