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 Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts

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Michael Bishop
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PostSubject: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 1:37 am

Share your thoughts on the debut edition of Kingdom please. Any and all feedback is very much appreciated by The Council, especially the Writing Team~!
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ScottyAdams

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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 3:15 am

I really liked the event tbh, but as a critique --- the moves being mashed in with the commentary feels kind of weird to me tbh. Like, it makes the text kind of blocky and really doesn't fit the television sort of theme you go for. If it was a radio style of show, it would make more sense, but you want the reader to visualise the match and the commentary to supplement it. I'd format the matches like you do with the segments, where the action is separate to the commentary. Just my 2 cents on it, but otherwise a very good debut show.
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Keelan Callihan
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 6:52 am

ScottyAdams wrote:
I really liked the event tbh, but as a critique --- the moves being mashed in with the commentary feels kind of weird to me tbh. Like, it makes the text kind of blocky and really doesn't fit the television sort of theme you go for. If it was a radio style of show, it would make more sense, but you want the reader to visualise the match and the commentary to supplement it. I'd format the matches like you do with the segments, where the action is separate to the commentary. Just my 2 cents on it, but otherwise a very good debut show.
I've been in feds before where the action is separate from the commentary - feds that you and I have been in lol. Doing that sort of style is fine but in a fed like this where there are live shows it doesn't really fit the theme of what we go for usually. The vast majority of us come from previous feds where live shows are very frequent, and when it's done by a commentator rather than like (move move move move) for example, it adds the build-up and adds the tension that a lot of the writers here tend to go for. It's another big reason as to why a lot of people in Discord servers tend to actually sit through full live shows because of how well it's written in that aspect. It wouldn't feel the same if it was thrown into brackets you know what I mean? Very appreciative of your feedback though man.
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 7:02 am

Keelan Callihan wrote:
ScottyAdams wrote:
I really liked the event tbh, but as a critique --- the moves being mashed in with the commentary feels kind of weird to me tbh. Like, it makes the text kind of blocky and really doesn't fit the television sort of theme you go for. If it was a radio style of show, it would make more sense, but you want the reader to visualise the match and the commentary to supplement it. I'd format the matches like you do with the segments, where the action is separate to the commentary. Just my 2 cents on it, but otherwise a very good debut show.
I've been in feds before where the action is separate from the commentary - feds that you and I have been in lol. Doing that sort of style is fine but in a fed like this where there are live shows it doesn't really fit the theme of what we go for usually. The vast majority of us come from previous feds where live shows are very frequent, and when it's done by a commentator rather than like (move move move move) for example, it adds the build-up and adds the tension that a lot of the writers here tend to go for. It's another big reason as to why a lot of people in Discord servers tend to actually sit through full live shows because of how well it's written in that aspect. It wouldn't feel the same if it was thrown into brackets you know what I mean? Very appreciative of your feedback though man.
Yeah, I can understand that perspective of it too --- it helps with live event writing, though I've always liked the interactions commentators have; the overall psychology of the match, which I feel is easier to convey with the action separated from the commentary. But either way does work just fine and it's really only minor.
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 11:22 am

- Love the story told in SavxAria

- Finn Stronk

- The Triple Threat is the reason why I feel Oasis knows the best on how to write my guy

- that fucking tag match

- Main Event was a fucking Main Event

- why did you bring her back you aussie whore


- though they were added last minute the preshow seemed like an alright match, nice promoing by Scotty and Trevor and it made a good start.
All around it was a pretty solid card, I like the idea of starting off with a show episode instead of an event like other places, establishes a nice flow right at the beginning.
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Aria Jaxon
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 18th 2018, 7:09 pm

I understand what Scotty is talking about bc prior to joining feds in this circle, I'd never seen the "action integrated into the commentary" style before. But I've had enough time to get used to it, obviously. I'm sure it won't throw him for a loop forever. 

Amazing first episode. I loved that the girls opened the show and I feel like all the matches were wonderfully written and y'all did the best you could with trying to establish characters' personalities and whatnot. Everyone on the show got to shine in one way or another and that's super important. The fact that OWA writers understand this right from the jump is SO crucial. No complaints at all. We started off on an amazing note and we can only get better from here! 

Also, #DeportMegan2K18.
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 19th 2018, 12:45 am

Y'all almost killed my character the first night.
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PostSubject: Re: Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts   Kingdom 4/15/18 Thoughts I_icon_minitimeApril 19th 2018, 7:24 pm

BRING ON MORE KINGDOM BABY!
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